About

My blog is about my journey and hopefully the journeys of other women in the church who are divorced.  It is a place I could have never contemplated being but I’ve learned that there is no situation or place I could go where God will not meet me.  Please understand that I did not float on gossamer wings of peace.  I cried and convulsed and panicked and grieved like a mad woman.  My marriage was ended abruptly with a phone call.  There was no hope or chance at reconciliation.  All my beliefs in forever were shattered.  I would like to say I threw myself into God’s arms.  I did not know how to. I was badly fractured and shell shocked. The severing of a marriage is not a clean dividing of halves. The two have grafted into each other and intertwined to a point that sudden separation can leave you critcally damaged.  All I could do was rely on God to hold me and bandage me and keep me from dissolving into madness and dispair. It was a breath away.

I decided I wanted to do this blog because I found that the church had no place for me.  No one knew what to do with women who’d been pulled apart.  I felt tainted and lesser. I was so fortunate to have two friends and a mother who continued to love me and give me an island of “normal”. Divorce is endless waves of loss and these people helped me to survive.

The blog is not about criticizing the church but about reaching out to other women the way I would have liked others to reach out to me.  I want to open a dialogue between members and see healing.  It is about going forward and adjusting to a new world.

The point of the blog is to to connect with other women who have a voice and want to share their experiences and encouragements.  Living Christian lives as vital members of the Christian community is the goal. God has a purpose for us and together we can find our places and celebrate God in all circumstances.

Thanks for stopping by.

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4 Comments

  1. Naphtali said,

    03/12/2011 at 3:31 pm

    Dear Faithandlifeafterdivorce,

    It was the same for me years ago when I left my ex. 1991 to be exact and the church did not know what to do with me. Not sure they would now. The church has not been prepared for the onslaught of divorce much less how to help get through daily life afterwards. But God does and he wants the church to learn.

    I can say this; you will get through this and it will get better. God understands and he knows you have a heart for him and that will sustain you.

  2. 04/12/2011 at 4:28 pm

    Thanks so much for the encouragement. I know that we can all continue growing if we help each other towards our goal. Too often the faith has been interpreted as climbing a mountain. When we fail we feel we’ve gone to the bottom and need to try and stuggle all the way up again. I prefer the image of going along. If we fall hopefully we have those who help us stand again and we continue forward. Our past is not lost. We are further ahead each day that we move. Thanks for helping others continue on. sincerely, D.

  3. Ms Fihaki said,

    27/09/2012 at 2:32 pm

    Do you mind me asking what church organization you are part of? I was raised in a very strict LDS (aka Mormon) community and found similar issues as a single parent in that organization. My bad experiences turned me off to religion all together. It warms my heart to see you still have faith and love even after your trial. 🙂

    • 27/09/2012 at 3:56 pm

      I am so sad you went through this. It is one thing to have your marriage end. It is another to feel that the safe harbour that is supposed to be the community of faith also turns its back. For me I couldn’t hold on to God. I needed him to hold on to me. For my background my mom was Mennonite, and my dad was United. They married and raised us in a Baptist church. I met my husband in a Pentecostal church and ended up in a Mennonite community church. I eventually found one that loves me for me and welcomes me to be a part and encourages other divorced people to join. I’ve learned that too much church thinking confuses Christianity with Disney. I have been hurt by people in the church and will continue to be because the only people in the church are fallen and broken. It’s all that I am as well. I really appreciate your kindness and well wishes. I refuse to allow the narrowness of some people keep me from the relationship with God that he invited me to have. He knew everything that I would do and experience when I accepted his grace so if he committed to love me then no one on earth has the right to tell me different. Big hugs, D.


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